(with gratitude to Suzy Becker’s Dog Rules)
- The cats are not allowed on the kitchen table.
- The cats may get up on the kitchen table, but not when we are eating.
- The cats may get up on the kitchen table when we are eating, but only for snacks and solitary quick munchies, not when we’re having a sit-down dinner with proper dishes and everything.
- The cats are allowed on the kitchen table whenever they like, but they have to stay on their side and not mess with our food.
- The cats can have some of our food if we offer, but they can’t beg.
- The cats can have some of our food if they ask nicely.
- The cats can eat off our plates.
- I’m afraid of #8.
I was talking about this with a family member, and got as far as #4 when he interrupted, incredulously, “Wait – their side?!”
I think I may have a problem.