Never Startle a Pooping Cat

Already learned that the hard way with Lilith.  Repeated the experiment with Vishnu* the Schmoo Bear.  Schmoo was using the upstairs litterbox.  I was firing up the computer.  Apparently the Windows Startup Noise is the scariest! thing! evar!**  Little dude goes bolting out of the litterbox.  There’s a twist to this incident:  apparently Schmoo eats a fair amount of my hair.  The first bit of turd broke off almost immediately, but the rest was still connected to him because it was mashed onto a long hair, the other end of which was still up inside him.  Clearly it was chasing him with malicious intent.  So now I have a terrified kitten jumping around and squeaking,  running in terror from poop-on-a-rope, and the more Schmoo jumps around, the more the turd goes swinging around behind him like some kind of turd-bola, which is really, really scary and he has to keep running.

And then all of a sudden he’s free, and calmly sitting on the window shelf washing himself like he was totally not making an ass of himself a second ago.  And I can’t find the missing turd-nugget.  I looked and looked and there was no sign of it.  I went back to computering.

The cat-poo stank got stronger and stronger, like it was taunting me: ha!  You’ll never find me now!  Until I’m one with your socks!  I got up, checked my chair, the bum of my pants, my socks.  Nothing.  Went through that a few times before realizing, the smell was really directional.  And only in the part of the room that was warm from the space heater.

Yes, dear readers (if there are any), my baby made a DIY Scented Plug-ins with Fan.  The new version, with Bleach Scent, was much more pleasing.

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*I don’t know what to do about Kitten’s name.  I tried calling him lots of things, and the sounds in “Vishnu” seem to be a combination he responds to.  And I (thought) I did my research, concluding that Vishnu is a name that humans as well as gods can have.  So I decided it would do for my kitty.  And then found out third-hand that I’d done something pretty offensive.  So I’m working on a new name for him, to be applied once he’s neutered, but I’m going to have to teach not only him, but everybody that knows him.  Curse White Privilege and the things it allows me to think are a good idea.

**Users of other operating systems, yes, I did set you up to say something here.

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About The Intransigent One

Sometimes I like to post pictures of my cat or my garden or my sewing or other stuff I made or did. Other times I like to rant.
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