Cat Rules

(with gratitude to Suzy Becker’s Dog Rules)

1. The cats are not allowed on the kitchen table.
2. The cats may get up on the kitchen table, but not when we are eating.
3. The cats may get up on the kitchen table when we are eating, but only for snacks and solitary quick munchies, not when we’re having a sit-down dinner with proper dishes and everything.
4. The cats are allowed on the kitchen table whenever they like, but they have to stay on their side and not mess with our food.
5. The cats can have some of our food if we offer, but they can’t beg.
6. The cats can have some of our food if they ask nicely.
7. The cats can eat off our plates.
8. I’m afraid of #8.

I was talking about this with a family member, and got as far as #4 when he interrupted, incredulously, “Wait – their side?!“

I think I may have a problem.

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